Task of the Day #2: A List of Your Wins

Self-Esteem

Task:
Take a sheet of paper and make a list of 20 of your wins. These can be big achievements (finishing your studies, changing jobs, learning a foreign language, leaving an abusive relationship) as well as small ones (not reacting to someone else’s provocation, learning to cook a new dish, taking a step toward a dream). Keep this list and reread it whenever you feel insecure.

P.S. Think carefully before making the list. Notice that we often consider only what can be seen, touched, measured, or shown off to others as “real” achievements — in other words, something material. At the same time, we may completely overlook positive changes in our behavior and perception. Situations where we managed to defend our boundaries after years of trying to be good for everyone, our first “no” after constantly saying “yes,” are often not considered important at all. Taking the first step toward someone we like, despite shyness or fear of rejection, is not perceived as something significant either. After all, it’s not a Ferrari and not a degree from Harvard.

This leads to the feeling that we are standing still or moving in circles, even when that is not true, even when there is growth — slow, gradual growth. We simply don’t notice it. But we immediately notice any of our flaws, even those invisible to others, and any unpleasant situation can grow in our minds to the scale of a universal catastrophe. We instantly fix our attention on the negative aspects, ignoring the positive ones.

Purpose:
Doing this exercise periodically develops the habit of noticing even small achievements instead of devaluing them.